Monday, September 15, 2014


My guest today is Meg Amor.  Meg has spent a lifetime as a therapist being fascinated, and collecting unusual love stories. She loves to write romantic erotica, with committed poly relationships, and other unusual romance mixes.  

Meg hand-wrote and 'published' her first book when she was 11 years old, about her parents' divorce.  Constantly told as a child, she had a vivid and active imagination --- the dawn of the computer era meant she could now take dictation at speed from the interesting characters galloping around her head.  

Meg Amor grew up in New Zealand and lives in California with her American fur child, Leo Ray Jr. the cat and Mr. Beaumont the other holy terror cleverly disguised as a cat.

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John: Meg, I’m so glad you agreed to be my guest.  From what I know about you, you have an expansive, make-it-up-as-you-go-along approach to life.  I’m guessing the same attitude applies to your writing—as it does mine.  Some writers plot and plot their books to death in advance, and yet if you ask them, they say there will still be surprises.  It’s as if they think their novel can still breathe.

MEG:  Snorting, with appreciative laughter over your plotter, plotter comment. I love the way, you say... I guess the novel can still breathe. LOL.... LOL.

I always wonder how they haven't strangled the poor thing to death too before they even start. The boredom factor would do my head in.

I could write down a rough idea but my characters...if I'm off and do their own thing.  When they don't, I worry.

I'm the same as you. I might look like I'm harem scarem, but in truth, I have a sharp brain and have quite a lot stored in it in terms of sequencing, details, etc. I could tell you anything about any of my characters and not be wrong anywhere. Someone mentioned putting a time stamp on things, when they wrote them.  I'm not sure what they meant and haven't got an answer yet.

It rings this vague bell from when I attempted a script.  But I just write.  And like you, I edit, edit, edit. I get it down.  Not stopping for spelling, grammar, my dreadful syntax etc.  I send each new piece and updated MS into my phone every day.  I lie in bed and read it through. I see what needs changing and sharpening.  I go and do it when I start again.  Then I'm off writing again.

At the end of all that, I still have to edit the guts out of it, but the story is there at that point.  I just have to chainsaw a thousand (thousands... actually LOL) words out.  I tighten and tighten.

I read it out loud to myself.  I re-edit from that.  I'm meticulous in a different way. But I write organically.  I write the end first sometimes.  I start in the middle of a scene.  I backfill.  I cut and paste scenes around.  I roll with my characters.  I know them so well, that I know THEM.  They become part of me. Or are part of me.

Meg Flying the Tiger Moth

John: Meg, parts of your fiction are boldly sexual and erotic, yet for years, sex was absent from your life.  Could you talk about that?  

MEG: When I first started writing Henry and Isolde, I was only just getting back into being sexual myself.  No sex in my marriage for years.  Ugh.

And when I hit 50, John, some part of me just said... NO. I am not going the rest of my life without sex.  I cannot do it.

So, I started to write it, as a lot of us erotica writers do.  We put our fantasies on the page.

I got comfortable with male/female sex again.  Then Charlie turned up.  (He was supposed to be a secondary character and sidekick to Henry, but took over and now in books two and three of the Troika Love Series, is a main character and part of the relationship between Henry, Izzy and Charlie.  I... as the writer felt disloyal to Henry.  (I get terribly involved in my characters.)  Then I felt a bit weird when it first happened.

Izzy would love this hat!

John: Why did you feel weird? Because the sex was heading in another direction?

MEG: Yes.  I didn't know if people would like Henry with another man.  He's so lovely and such a southern gentleman... that I wasn't sure. 

Then I was caught in the funny place, where I realized that 'I' like male/male sex, but would my readers?  Would they understand?

I honestly... started watching male/male porn for research.  LOL.  I really did. Because I had three of them and I was trying to get the positioning right and some new ideas. And the male/female porn bored me ridgeless.  It's so contrived and they all look like they're bored and at the coffee morning!!

So I started the male/male stuff.  And Ohhh... yeah... okay... that's very sexy. Not sure why.  It just is.  And it turns out, I'm not the only woman who loves male/male. :-)  But it intrigued me.  I got used to anal sex.  I stopped looking at it and thinking it's slightly weird.  Now it looks normal.  LOL.  Now, I think it's lovely.  See... times change.

And Charlie is very masculine but very, very sexual.  I had to allow him to be himself. And I had to let him in to Henry and Izzy... who's really me. :-)  And that's probably why... it was hard.  Because they're not just my characters.  Izzy is me.  Almost pure me.  She can throw, dance, swing and is younger. But otherwise, I'm Izzy... through and through.

John: You know, Meg, this threesome relationship not only sounds complicated but pretty darn personal—am I right?

MEG: It was quite personal in the end, I think.  It's a good question. :-)  I've never figured it out.  But yes, it's personal. Would I ever go out with two men at once. Yes, I have done.  But I've never had a threesome.  Would I entertain it... yes... with another man.  Not into woman.

So I don't know whether it's a fantasy. Or whether a part of me would thrive on that. It would have to be very committed, very loving between everyone.  I have a deep loyalty at times.

Um... does that answer your question. LOL.

And yes... I only do vanilla sex.  I HATE BDSM.  I read Mikey's work because she's my writing buddy and she's a fabulous writer.  Her characters are just wow.

She writes her nightmares and her life into her work.  I write sensual erotic romance.  But we're good buddies.

Maybe some people would say what I write is kink.  I'm not sure.  But even the people who cringe at male/male like my characters and their story.  Because ultimately they're about relationships and deep love. There's a very deep soul connection between my characters.  Always. I love like that ... so I expect it from my men.

I'm loving this male/male I’ve just finished writing.  Such beautiful characters. Oooh... they steal my heart. :-)  Beau is so broken...  he just needs the love.  He's so sweet.  I adore him.  I only write HEA.  I put a lot of my psych background into my work.  And this one... so far... has no past life... very odd. LOL. But one might rear its head. :-) Who knows with us pantsers.  LOL.

An Hawaii Sunset -- Wish you were here?

John: What is it about poly relationships that draws you?  What is their full potential?  You say you might commit to two male partners.  What about three, four, and so on?  What about multiple partners for others?

MEG: These are really good questions, John! J What draws me.  I don’t know. There’s probably a lot of layers to that.  I’ve sometimes been with brothers or best friends at the same time.  Possibly different people give me different things that I need.  I’m quite complex and fairly deep.  I think you and I had a discussion once about that and how the person I was looking for probably wasn’t going to be a dime a dozen or lots of people out there that would suit me. I think that’s part of it.  When I look at Henry and Charlie, I love Henry’s gentleness, his deep calm and kindness.  And yet, I also crave Charlie’s raunchiness, his outright sexuality and straightforwardness. Henry is very sensuous, also something I crave.  But both are highly intelligent men, both intellectually and emotionally — very important!

So… maybe I just need two men because trying to fit one of my complexities into another man might be harder to find.  I don’t know. LOL.  I do suspect too that having grown up with two fathers, that there might be a subconscious reason for this desire.  And yes, if two men came along that I fell in love with and also were in love with each other and me, I’d give it a go.  It feels deeply comforting to me. Plus, I do like male/male sex.  It’s very sexy and sensuous for me, not to mention I’d get double of the yummy bits. J It is very appealing.

For me personally, I don’t think I could go past two men.  Any more than that and I’d feel a bit lost.  These days the new term is called polyfidelity or polyfaithful.  I just read that recently and I thought that was a really nice way to describe it.  I think honestly, once you get beyond three people, trying to form the working dynamics of a relationship must be a nightmare.  Maybe it’s not, I don’t know.  I think with three, there’s a lot of needs to get met for everyone. Two men just seem more balanced to me.  I have no idea why.  This is for ME personally.  I heavily support all relationships male/female, male/male, pan, female/female.  Love is so important.  I think it’s what we’re here to GET.

An Anthurium lily from Hawaii

John: Why do you hate Mikey’s BDSM?  Isn’t it different strokes for different folks?  You say she’s a “fabulous writer.”

MEG: LOL.  Michele ‘Mikey’ Rakes IS a fabulous writer.  I love every one of her books.  She can REALLY write.  A very powerful writer.  So, I’ll read every one of her books, but some things don’t appeal to me sexually.  I love the male/male romance part of her work.  Her characters are always wonderful. You fall in love with them.  I don’t like BDSM because it’s nasty to me.  I can’t imagine anything more off-putting than someone whipping, slapping, hitting, cutting me, etc.  Not a turn on for me.  I don’t look at leather work and think… ooh, sexy.  I think Ugh.  People being tied up, blood work (whipping, flogging, etc) clamps and collars; to me, levels of degradation just don’t equal gorgeous, fabulous, sensuous sex.

I think too, with my background, I’m always aware of where this need for that level of sexual satisfaction comes from.  It’s got squick factor for me.  I know what’s probably behind that in childhood.  It’s not very nice to think what some kids are put through.

Meg Amor
Erotic Romance Writer 

John: Which talent would you most like to have, and which weakness would you most like to lose?

MEG: Ooh, these are good questions. J Talent I’d most like to have is being able to read as a clear medium for people on the other side. I’d like to have something as clear as John Edward, James Van Praagh, Lisa Williams etc.

What weakness would I like to lose?  I’d like to lose the weakness of backing down on something that’s my opinion or something I know to be true.  And yet, I’ll doubt myself.  Oh well… maybe I got that wrong… I um and ah, then have to look it up on the internet, when I DID know all along.  That annoys me.  I’d like to be firm in my convictions.

Troika horses
Troika Love Series Trilogy

John:  What’s your happiest childhood memory?

MEG: I liked going to my Grandparents' orchard during the holidays. My Grandfather would pay me 50 whole cents to paste the labels on the apple boxes in the huge packing shed he had.  I loved it.  I got to work with all these ladies who graded the apples, have smoko with them, that my Gran would bring down at morning and afternoon tea time.  They included me in things.  And in those days, 50 cents was an untold fortune.  It would buy me an EP record or I could put it toward an LP and I’d be quarter of the way there. J I also loved to do the projects my dad brought home from the engineering workshop he worked in. He was a tool and die maker when I was a kid and one project was putting the ring binder metal pieces together.  We had boxes of pieces and we all sat on the living room floor, snap fitting these things together. J I liked being involved in family things.

John:  What’s the most important lesson life has taught you?

MEG: To go for what’s really in your heart.  Not what you think you ‘might’ like, but what’s truly in your heart.  Never settle for second best.

John: If you had to marry a fictional character from film, books, history, or legend, who would it be?

MEG: God, I have no idea.  Actually I do… I’d marry my Charlie…and Henry. I’m actually hoping they’re one person and that somewhere soon, I’ll run into them. Maybe on a beach at home in Hawai’i or in the steamy sultry streets of New Orleans. J

John: Being a writer is (sometimes) a great job.  What is the worst job you’ve had?

MEG: Oh crikey!! LOL. The list is soooooooo long.  I left school at 15 (different education system from Americans.  We don’t ‘drop out.’ We leave and get jobs — there’s a difference.)  I think house maiding was one of the worst ones I’ve ever worked.  I worked for the head housekeeper from hell.  She used to randomly change the roster on us.  So half the time you’d be penciled in one day, it’d be rubbed out or put on another day and by magical osmosis, you were supposed to guesstimate what days you were on. Then she’d go butchers hooks at you when you arrived.  I remember her standing in the elevator (lift) and shrieking at me.  “And where were you yesterday, young lady!”  I thought I was over this.  I said, “Fuck you.”  As the elevator doors closed on her madder than a wet hen face.

It was my best exit for a job. LOL.

John: Tell us about your latest book, where we can find it, and where we can find your blog, website, and other sites (which will be featured at the end of this interview).

MEG: Thank you, John.  I don’t know which book to talk about.  I have Dark War already out with MuseItUp Publishing.  A short story about my three characters--Charlie, Henry and Izzy.  It was darkened up slightly for an anthology, but you do get to see the deep soul connection and love between the three of them. Charlie goes missing, Henry and Izzy have to find him in time before Charlie’s self-punishment pushes him over the edge.  And when they do find him, will he be able to take in the love they have for him?  That’s on Amazon and Muse.

At Christmas, I have Saint Nicholas coming out, a heartfelt male/female love story about a widow Daisy who falls for Greek story owner Nicky Constantine. But this isn’t the first lifetime, they’ve been in love.  Glimpses of a WWII lifetime come through.  That will come out through Muse as well, and be available on Amazon and Muse.

In Spring next year, the first of the Troika Love Series will be released. J My beautiful Henry, Izzy and Charlie finally get to tell the world their story.  The first book in the trilogy is Henry and Isolde. Henry an older black musician feels his life is nearly at an end, until he meets the exuberant New Zealander Izzy. She’s younger than him, richer, his boss and married.  But Henry and Izzy have a deep soul connection between them that defies age and time, color and race. Set in modern day New Orleans, we watch their deep love story unfold. Henry comes into his sexuality for the first time in his life and then, there’s Charlie…it’s complicated.

Henry’s story is really a ‘coming of age’ story, but perhaps from a different end of life.  He’s 67 when he meets Izzy.  He can’t remember the last time he had a really hard erection that lasted more than a few minutes and feels like his life is pretty much done.  He’s a widower, just waiting for it to end really.

Then he goes to work for the exuberant Izzy and falls in love with her, but there’s no hope in Henry’s mind for a real relationship.  Izzy’s thirty years younger.  She’s married, his boss.  What on earth would she see in him anyway? He’s her employee, an old man and a black man in the South for Gods’ sake, he thinks.  I’m a silly old fool...

But he’s not.  Because Izzy also loves him (it’s right at the start we find this out, so I’m not giving too much away.)  Izzy doesn’t see Henry’s age.  She just sees his deep soul, his big heart, sharp brain, the gentleness in Henry which is so appealing.  Izzy opens up a whole new world for Henry.  He comes into his sexuality for the first time in his life because Izzy doesn’t see him as old.  She sees him as a person she not only loves, but likes enormously too.

He sees wrinkles on his neck.  She doesn’t even notice them.  Izzy just thinks Henry is the most beautiful man.

Theirs is a very deep love story and I write in first person, so you get to hear both their thoughts as they travel through this lovely relationship together.  I like whole men and I write about them.  Men that cry, that show emotion, that are real people.  I love them.

This is also with Muse and will be available on Amazon and Muse.

And I’ve just finished a male/male called Hawaiian Lei which is set in my home state of Hawai’i. J And was written for my late husband Aaron Amor.  It’s about Beau Toyama, a Hawaiian/Japanese/Tahitian man who’s a flight instructor and flies a bi-plane on the Big Island of Hawai’i.  He meets Matt Quintal, a New Zealander with Norfolk Island and Maori background.  Beau is from a very dysfunctional ‘mixed plate’ island family and was married for a long time.  One day his wife Mikey says, “I love you, babe, but this isn’t working.  I need a really good man…” she pauses, “And so do you.”

He’s a lovely gentle shy soul and he meets Matt Quintal, a painter, who’s been living the ‘gay scene’ in LA for a year and knows it’s a crock a shit.  He comes to the island to visit his sister Rach and meets Beau.  There’s an instant soul connection between them.  They have to face their own vulnerabilities and let themselves be in love.

They both have their things they bring to the relationship which get triggered and they work through them so they can love deeply and not be scared.  It’s about family dysfunction, abuse, redemption, love and vulnerabilities between two men who really want a deep loving relationship and have to allow their hearts and souls to open up.  It’s a really beautiful story about love and care. All my stories are ultimately about relationships.  And they’re always happily ever after.     

John:  Thank you so much, Meg, for your fascinating answers.  Man, I could listen to you all day--and night.  Are there any questions I didn’t ask which you would like to answer?  If so, here’s your opportunity.  Please go ahead!

MEG: Thank you, John!!! Wonderful interview.  I love everything you have put together from various conversations we’ve had. Brilliant! J

Blog site:

FB Author Page: The Lush and Blush Club (I don’t have the url for it, because it’s always weird, not sure why).

Web site:



  1. Aloha John!!! Thanks so much. This was a really fun interview to do. I always like talking to you. Always highly interesting!! :-) This was terrific. Thanks for having me. Love the ADULT status. My god... I'm an ADULT. LOL. Surely not. :-)

    Thanks and aloha Meg :-)

  2. I agree, Meg, that was a really fun interview, and such interesting questions. I love how you describe your writing process and can empathise with the state of on the surface seeming to be bobbing about everywhere, but deep down having a clear idea of how the whole book is going to work out. Well, most of the time! :)
    Loved how you describe how you came to write your novels. Best of luck with all your writing projects!

  3. It was a super experience having you, Meg! I always like talking to you, too. I think we really got into some of your fascinating complexities as a person and writer. Yes, I love the ADULT status, too, although so much here is in the very best of taste.

  4. Great interview. Backing down-self doubt. A killer.
    Heather G - The Natasha Saga